McCAIN’S BOCEPHUS CONUNDRUM

So, in answer to your question, yes, I have been in hiding.  I will not come out of hiding until after the election is over tomorrow night… except for this one quick thought.

Cory and I were discussing this today.  Hank Williams, Jr. is allegedly considering a run for the U.S. Senate , giving him a chance to represent the state of Tennessee in our nation’s capital.  Now, there is no question in my mind that Bocephus would win that race if he actually chose to run it.  In fact, I think that the people of Tennessee would vote overwhelmingly for Mr. Buck Naked himself, even if he did not campaign for even one single solitary second.  He wouldn’t need to shake a hand or run a commercial.  The moment he got his name on the ballot, the folks in Washington might as well start changing the sign on the office door, because if Hank Williams, Jr. is on the ballot in Tennessee, my friends, I can assure you: he is going to get elected.  Period.  If you think Barack Obama got out the vote, you have not considered the mighty political machine that would be the fans of Bocephus, pouring out from the mountains in the east to the Mississippi in the west for their chance to Vote Hank 2012.

But since there’s no real doubt about that, what I wanted you to think about is a little something else that Cory and I discussed tonight.  In all seriousness, do you realize that if Hank Williams, Jr. ran for president of the United States, he would likely win damn near the same number of states that John McCain is going to win tomorrow night?  I’m not kidding.  No, really — not kidding at all.   Think about it.  Alabama, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Idaho, Kentucky, West Virginia, South Carolina, Louisiana, Kansas, Montana, Alaska, the Dakotas.  Those states are going to vote Republican in a general presidential election, regardless of who’s running.  If John F Kennedy rose from the dead and declared himself a Republican, he would take Alabama.  Easily.   If by some twist of fate, Hank Williams, Jr. was ever the Republican candidate for president, he would carry the South and Plains, with ease and a straight face.  He would do it.  You know he would.  Is that fucking scary, or what?

~ by Aaron Saylor on November 4, 2008.